Turnabout
by Serys
Summary: I've always believed that Natsu was a strong person, that he could handle himself in any situation. But now...seeing his eyes look so vulnerable and lost, I realized that Natsu was as fragile as I was. He just had a better way of hiding it from everyone.


**_A/N: You could say that this is kind of like a sequel to 'Above the Rainbow', but it could also be a small oneshot on it's own._**

**_So once again, I have to warn you that this is kind of 'spoiler-y' if you haven't gotten to chapter 337 and beyond yet. _**

**_And I should also note that Fairy Tail doesn't belong to me._**

* * *

_Turnabout_

When I walked into the Fairy Tail guild the week after the Grand Magic Games ended, it was like the battle with the dragons had never happened. The shouting of my guild mates echoed through my ears, a nice reminder that some things just did not change. There were random fights taking place at each corner of the guild hall, accidentally leaving broken chairs and glass in their wake. Cana's alcohol permeated the air along with the aroma of Erza's strawberry cheesecake and other delicious foods Elfman, who had an uncanny ability to make even a dirty shoe taste good, decided to cook up for her.

My gaze traveled over the familiar picture of Mirajane wiping down the bar table with a white cloth, no doubt it was littered with soda rings and crumbs of cake.

She immediately spotted me at the entryway, her blue eyes lighting up with a smile on her face. "Hey, Lucy!" she waved me over and I easily came, setting myself between Erza and Cana. I glanced at both women at each side of me and quickly concluded that they were too busy with their current addictions for any greetings this morning.

"So, what's up, Miss Mira?" I asked.

"Working," she simply replied, as if it was the answer to every question that was asked of her today. "Would you like anything to eat, Lucy? Elfman seems to be on a baking spree. He's made dozens of cakes and muffins today already." Her smile left her face, her lips now frowning. "But I'm pretty sure Erza here has eaten most of them." She motioned with her head over at the scarlet-haired woman, who sat there unaware of the evil eye that was directed right at her.

"No, that's alright. I had a pretty big breakfast, so I'm not hungry anyway." I thought for a moment. "But I will take a chocolate milk!"

Mirajane nodded, flipping several locks of her white hair over a shoulder. "Chocolate milk, coming right up!"

It took only a couple moments for my order to be placed in front of me. I quickly said my thanks and took a small sip. I felt Mira's eyes take me in, watching my every move. I blushed under the scrutiny of her gaze, eyeing her back with a look of wariness. Mira's face was etched with concern, her lips tight. It didn't take a skilled observer to know that something was bothering the Take-Over mage. Before I could question about it, she spoke.

"Do you know what's up with Natsu lately?" Mirajane asked, toying with the wash cloth with her fingers. I've come to learn that was a nervous habit of hers. "He hasn't been around in a while."

"Natsu?" His name left my lips and I sat there wondering about him. If I could recall, the last time I saw Natsu was almost a week ago when we arrived back from Crocus. The way he acted then was normal though. He picked a few fights with Gray and Erza, busted through a couple of windows, devoured every flame he could find and passed out over a table with Happy trying to haul him back to their house. Like I said, normal.

"It's very unlike him to avoid the guild like this." To say Mirajane was worried about Natsu was an understatement. It was no secret that she was like the mother of Fairy Tail. Always keeping an eye on each and every member of the guild. Most of us didn't have parents, so it was really nice to have someone pick and worry over us like a mother or father normally would. My own heart swelled at the thought.

"Maybe he went on a mission by himself?" I proposed. It was known that he would sometimes leave with Happy on quests that would take days to complete.

But Mirajane didn't look convinced. "It's not in the books, and I've spotted Happy around here too, and when asked about Natsu, he just shook his head and wouldn't say anything."

My brows shot up in surprise. Okay, that was alarming. Very alarming. If Happy was acting weird, then something was definitely up with Natsu.

Mirajane sighed. It looked like she was about to cry. "I hate to ask, but could you go and check on him and let me know? If you can't already tell, Gray has been in this weird funk lately too, and although he won't admit it, I know he is worried about Natsu, as well."

I felt a small frown come over my lips, catching Gray sitting with Juvia at a table in the middle of the ruckus that Fairy Tail was naturally known for. His eyes seemed to be disconnected from his conversation with her, his chin propped up by the palm of his hand. He was slightly turned away from the blue-haired woman, a look of boredom across his face. In fact, it looked like he wasn't paying any attention to her at all.

_I guess the guild just isn't the same without Natsu._

I set the empty glass on the bar. "Thanks for the drink, and I'll talk to you later."

On my way out of the guild hall, I ran into Lisanna and Happy. Lisanna was pale, and Happy seemed to drag himself through the air. Both of their eyes held the same look of sadness. Their heads were downcast, an aura of defeat sticking to them like a sickness.

"Happy. Lisanna, what's wrong?"

Lisanna just shook her head, her white shoulder length tresses swishing back and forth against the skin of her neck. "I don't know what's wrong with him," she said, her brows furrowing into confusion. "I've never seen him like this before, and I don't know what to do." I heard the crack in her voice, my own mouth going dry.

She finally looked at me, her blue eyes shined with unshed tears. I was shocked speechless at the level of emotion in her face, and it left me with a pool of cold biting fear at the pit of my stomach. I almost didn't want to know what Natsu's problem was if her reaction to it was anything to go by.

I swallowed thickly, breathing through my nose.

"Did he say anything?" I asked.

It was Happy who replied. "No... he doesn't want to talk to anyone right now." His blue face took on an even more depressing and pathetic look and I grew even more worried. I ran both hands through my blond hair, wondering what I should do now. This whole situation was freaking me out. If he didn't want to speak to Happy or Lisanna, then he definitely didn't want to see my face. I sighed, feeling just as defeated as they looked.

"Maybe..." Lisanna began, her hopeful eyes staring straight at me now. "Maybe you could talk to him, Lucy? You've always had a way with Natsu."

"You're kidding me, right?" I felt the blush rise to my face before I could squash it down.

"Please," Lisanna pleaded. "He looked so utterly broken, and..."

"Alright, I'll try." I was quick to quell her anxiety, but I wasn't sure how far I could get without being thrown out of Natsu's house with a quick fire dragon punch. If he didn't want to talk, he sure as hell wasn't going to. If there was one thing I learned by being in Natsu's team, it was that Natsu did what Natsu wanted to do.

I quickly set out on my way in the direction to where Fairy Tail's infamous Salamander lived. I tried to get Happy to come with me, but he claimed that he didn't want to see Natsu right now. I knew Happy was angry at his partner, so I didn't push it. I left him with Mira and Lisanna with a promise to come back with some raw fish. He seemed to perk up a bit after that.

I quietly made my way through the growing thickness of the trees, following the small dirt pathway toward Natsu's house. I remember coming here a couple times before, the first time completely on a whim. It was then that I had came up with the idea to totally take over their home, much in the same way he and Happy constantly did with mine. The plan was a total failure though, as I had abandoned the initial thought and decided to clean the huge mess they lived in instead.

I waited for them for hours, feeling strangely alone during the whole ordeal. I wanted to surprise them both with how clean and tidy I made their place look. It wasn't until I finally dragged myself through my own front door at the scene of Natsu and Happy sleeping peacefully beside my bed that I realized they were both waiting for me to come home as well.

My lips curved at the memory.

It wasn't long before I found myself in front of Natsu's house. The place was surrounded by tall trees and multi-colored grass. Mushrooms and wildflowers were littered side by side coating the ground and up around the trees. Moss covered most of the home, and there were even huge tree branches protruding from the walls of the small building. I once thought that little feature was a bit odd, but then again, so was Natsu.

I took a deep breath and mentally prepared myself. For what? I wasn't sure. Natsu was as unpredictable as he was strange.

I knocked lightly against his front door.

"Natsu?" I called, uncertainty making it's way into my voice. I hadn't really thought about what to say to him, too wrapped up in my own musings. What was I going to say that hadn't already been said anyway?

"Everyone is worried about you, you know?" I said, feeling silly talking through the door to him. I wasn't even sure he can hear me. "I don't think that's fair to put Mirajane and everyone else through this."

I waited a couple moments for a response, but got nothing. I sighed again, irritation clawing at me. "Look, can you quit acting like a child and come back to the guild? Mirajane said that you haven't been there in almost a week; they're all worried about you."

Again, nothing. Not a shuffle or a creak from any of the floorboards inside.

_Is he even here?_

I grasped the handle of the door and found it unlocked. I twisted slowly and gave it a gentle push, the door finally cracking open.

The first thing I saw was darkness. I stood by the doorway and peered into living area of the house. The place had an eerie silence to it, and knowing how loud and flamboyant Natsu's personality was, it definitely raised a ton of red flags.

I strolled inside his house, letting the door close with a light snap behind me. It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room, catching shadow upon shadow until they merged into things I recognized. My gaze fell from the window to the couch, and then back up to the bulletin bored with papers and papers of past request missions tacked upon it. I caught the view of my old maid outfit from the first job he and I did together. I couldn't help but smile, my head shaking.

_I can't believe he still has that thing._

I glanced toward the bed on the far side of the room, a large body laying on top of messy sheets, a comforter pushed down at his feet. I knew it was Natsu. He laid there, unmoving, his back facing me. It looked like he was simply sleeping.

"Natsu," I called out to him again, peering over his still form. His face was shadowed, but I could still make out his features. His lips were pulled into a deep frown, his skin was extremely pale, perspiration coating his forehead. What had me swallowing the lump in my throat was his black eyes. They were open, seemingly glaring at the wall beside him.

I sighed, setting myself on his bed. There was just enough space for me to lie down next to him, but I wasn't going to risk that with him acting so distant and mean. At this point, I was getting really worried. Natsu didn't do things like this. He didn't lock himself up for days in his house. He didn't stare into darkness with unblinking eyes and he certainty didn't ignore me or Happy.

"Happy says that you don't like him anymore," I lied.

His dark eyes glanced over at me and I let myself celebrate a silent victory over getting a reaction from him. It was small, but it was still something. I decided to press my luck. "He also says that you don't want to be partners anymore either."

He went back to staring at the wall beside us.

I bit my lip, looking over Natsu once again.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's got you acting like this," I said, matter-of-factly. "I have all day, you know."

Again, he said nothing.

I gently placed my hand on his arm, knowing I was treading on dangerous territory. A silent Natsu was a dangerous Natsu. I knew he wouldn't do anything to purposely hurt me, but there were times where he didn't know his own strength. I was seriously stepping past a personal boundary, but my concern for him far exceeded my own safety.

"What's wrong, Natsu?"

He didn't say anything for the longest time, and when I believed he ignored and forgot the question altogether, he reacted.

Natsu's hand shot out, taking my wrist into his strong grip. He yanked me over his body, a gasp falling past my lips, and he pulled me flush against his bare chest. I froze on contact, my brown eyes going wide.

Happy and Lisanna did not say anything about _this_ kind of behavior.

"Natsu, wh-"

"Just stay with me right now."

The sound of his rough voice had me complying instantly.

I took a couple deep breaths to try to slow the fast beating of my heart, but when I felt him shift behind me, pulling me tighter against his hard chest, the air seem to evaporate from my lungs. My skin burned and tingled everywhere, and I was becoming very aware of Natsu's shallow breathing next to my ear.

We laid there for what seemed like hours in silence. His fingers curling with mine as he held me in a tight grip with his arms wrapped around my waist. Some part of me was afraid to speak, believing if I did, it would somehow ruin this whole moment between the two of us. But my curiosity was biting at me, and Natsu was still acting... very un-Natsu-y.

It was painstakingly slow, but I managed to turn myself around in his embrace. My gaze shot to his face and I was surprised to find Natsu asleep. I gave him a lopsided smile, resisting the urge to run my hands through his messy pink bed hair. Natsu could fall asleep anywhere, I mused, and I was comforted by the fact that at least this part of him didn't change.

In the span of seconds, the air seemed to change around us. It felt hotter, thicker, like someone turned up the thermo to burning and I was having trouble breathing in the heat.

Then I felt Natsu's body recoil in his sleep, and I also jumped back from the sudden movement, my eyes wide.

His body was tense, the muscles in his arms and chest seemed to grow with each passing second, like he was ready to pounce. I could practically taste the anger coming off of him in waves, and the feeling of deja vu washed over me. I saw this many times before in the heat of his battles.

And then...and then he screamed.

My mind seemed to turn off and go blank at the sound. The small hairs on the back of my arms and neck stood straight up, the sensation consuming my entire body. For a moment, I forgot how to even breathe. It was the most terrifying sound I had ever heard. Then something just clicked, realization dawning over me in the midst of my own panic.

_A nightmare... he is having a nightmare!_

"Natsu!" I cried, my arms coming around him. He continued to scream, my own heart breaking in the process. He didn't thrash or twist, which I was extremely grateful for. I had a feeling it would have been a whole lot more difficult to hold onto him if he did. I called out for him again, my arms crushing us tightly together in hopes that it would be enough for him to snap out of his dream.

And it was.

Black eyes immediately flew open, wild and fill with... fear?

My hands clutched both his arms, and I felt myself shaking along with him. We watched each other for the longest time, and once I believed he wasn't tipping over the cliff of a nervous mental breakdown, I allowed myself to relax as well.

"Natsu, what's going on?" This time, I wouldn't be placated by a glance or a hug. He was going to tell me.

Relief swelled in his eyes when he looked at me. I was still concerned, but it was a whole lot more bearable than the fear that I saw there moments before.

He pulled me into a hug, and I didn't object. Any small amount of comfort I could give him, I would gladly do it. My eyes closed on instinct. It was all too easy to forget everything else when it was like this. Natsu and I didn't hug often, despite us being so close, but when we did, I greedily took him all in. I savored every feeling, every touch, memorizing the rhythm of his heart beat as he relaxed against me. This, too, would be another memory I would take with me and lock away.

"My dreams start out differently, but it ends the same way," Natsu started. He buried his face in my hair and sighed. "I'm running as fast as I can, but it doesn't feel fast enough. I'm following your scent and I catch you just in time to see..."

He swallowed, breathing deeply, almost like he was gathering the strength to continue. I pulled back from him and watch the muscles in Natsu's jaw clench and tighten, his eyes closing. "It's you and Rogue. Sometimes you are screaming, other times you don't say a word, but there is blood, and you are looking at me almost like...almost like I was the reason why it happened."

I frowned, pulling the bottom of my lip in between my teeth to stop myself from crying. I would be lying if I said that I didn't have thoughts or fears about what could have happened that day, but I didn't want to live in the past or think about Rogue, or what happened to the future me, I didn't want to have fear dictate every action, every word and rule my life. I wasn't going to live like that.

I've always believed that Natsu was a strong person, that he could always handle himself in any situation.

But now...

Seeing his eyes look so vulnerable and lost, I realized that Natsu was just as fragile as I was. He just had a better way of hiding it from everyone.

"I'm watching you die, over and over. I can't move, I can't look away. I can only scream."

I didn't want to cry. I tried my best to put my feelings aside and listen to him, but it was hard. Especially since I was the reason why he was like this. But no matter how hard I tried to push the sting of tears back from my eyes, they rolled cross my face anyway. And it burned.

I didn't know what to say. What could have I said? 'Oh, don't worry, it's just a dream'? It wasn't fair to simply brush his nightmares aside like they were silly, like he didn't have anything to worry about. I knew it was a legitimate fear he carried, I just didn't know how heavy the burden actually was.

It was his fear of not being able to protect me that had him reliving the nightmare of that day.

My heart broke for him. I could have argued that he wasn't responsible for whatever happened to me, I could have screamed it to him until I was blue in the face, but I know Natsu. He wouldn't have felt the same way.

In an instant, I pulled him forward, smashing my mouth against his.

I don't know why I kissed him. Maybe it was just to let him know that I was still here, still alive and that all his nightmares will always be just that, nightmares. I wasn't going to go anywhere, and I knew that neither was he.

It was a chaste kiss at first, a simple reminder that I was real, and that he wasn't dreaming, but it was pulled into something deeper, and much more demanding. The light inside Natsu was starting to grow and burn, and I held onto him as he moved over me. We wrapped our bodies around each other, like we were trying to merge into one person, but it didn't feel close enough. Not nearly close enough.

He pulled away from me, and I silently mourned the loss of heat from his body against mine. Our gazes rested on each other's face, and we were both panting from the kiss. His eyes were wide, and I could tell that mine was, too. In that moment, I knew that our friendship wouldn't quite be the same anymore.

"Look," I started, swallowing the lump in my throat. I could see the shadow in his eyes were still there, the fear was still with him. "I understand, Natsu. I understand, and it's okay. It was a dream, and I know you're still afraid. I am, too. But..." I smiled at him, my eyes soft. "We're a team, right? We're partners, and we will get through this together like we do with everything else. Your feelings are my feelings. We are family. Isn't that what you're always saying?"

I reached up to touch him, his features going slack against my hand. "We all care about you. Everyone is worried, and it's not fair to them when you lock yourself up like this."

"I'm sorry, Lucy." Whether he was apologizing for his behavior, or the kiss, I couldn't tell, and it didn't matter.

I shook my head. "It's alright, but I think you should catch Happy a couple of fish as an apology gift though."

Natsu smiled. It was small, but I caught it. "I've been a real jerk to him, haven't I?"

I silently agreed.

"So..." I began, eyeing him above me. He seemed to be a whole lot better than when I first arrived. It was like he really was Natsu again. "Are we okay now? Can we go back to the guild hall?"

Natsu smirked, a single dragon fang peeking through his lips which made his boyish handsome face appear even more dangerous and mischievous. It looked like he had something else in mind, and I was sure that he could hear the hard thumping of my heart. "Let's stay a little while longer," he suggested.

My mouth formed into a perfect 'O' and felt the heat rush to my face. I watched him come back down to me for another kiss, and I laid receptive beneath him, my arms going over his shoulders.

This was a habit I was going to have to get used to, I knew.

Not that I minded in the least bit.

* * *

**_End. _**

**_Sorry I ended it there. I did it just to torture you guys. Do you hate me now? :P_**


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